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Sunday Scaries Series – Vol. III

Too scary.

Hello, and welcome to Sunday Scaries, where I’ll be rounding up those in the world of sports who are probably not looking forward to the next week.  

R.J. Barrett

Rowan Barrett Jr. was a consensus No. 1 recruit entering his freshman year at the most notable basketball program in the country, he’s already been projected to be the first overall pick in the 2019 NBA Draft, and still, he has been an afterthought for Duke’s basketball team.

Barrett has been putting up superb numbers – 20 and 10 against McGill and a 34 point outburst against Ryerson University in exhibition games on Duke’s summer tour. But Barrett’s achievements have been completely outshined by the most exciting, highly anticipated basketball prospect since an 18-year-old kid from Akron.

Zion Williamson, the kid we have been watching dunk on Twitter and YouTube is finally dunking on the biggest stage (exhibition college basketball games in Canada) and we are all losing our minds.

Poor R.J. He could average 30 points and 10 assists this season, but no one will ever care as much as they will when they see Zion on a fast break.

Ndamukong Suh

We’ve all been seeing the ridiculous penalties called with the new NFL rule changes, but none of us have been watching them with the fear that Ndamukong Suh has.

That hit resembles how Suh hugs his family when he comes home. You can threaten him with as many yards as you want, but putting a quarterback in front of Suh is like putting a floatation device in front of the flex seal guy. There will be destruction.

I don’t know if Suh will be able to play in a league that is becoming so soft, but at least he’s given us a lifetime supply of highlights of football the way it’s supposed to be.

50 Cent

I’ve heard people a little older than me talk about 50 Cent as one of the greatest and most influential rappers in history. For my generation, 50 Cent is known for “Candy Shop” and the single worst first pitch in the history of baseball.


Disgusting. He was universally mocked for this horrific display of unathleticism. If I remember correctly, some hecklers skipped over the classic “You Play Ball Like a Girl!” and went straight for “You Throw Like My Grandma!” This is just plain untrue. I mean, I’m all for a good joke, but let’s not be so unrealistic.

Last night we saw proof that Grandmas can throw WAY better than that nonsense from 50 Cent. Courtesy of Sister Mary Jo Sobieck.

That’s some filth from Loyola Chicago’s Sister Mary Jo! She’s got 12 inches plus movement on that bender, and still painted the bottom of the zone. A true knee-buckler from the Nun! And she did it with so much swagger too.

1 comment on “Sunday Scaries Series – Vol. III

  1. warningtrack

    Wow. You got a nun joke and the Flex Seal guy into a sports story! Clapping hands emoji. Laughing emoji.


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