Hello, and welcome to Sunday Scaries, where I’ll be rounding up those in the world of sports who are probably not looking forward to the next week.
For one decade, yes a full ten years, Chase Daniel has been the finesse king of the NFL. This man has thrown 78 total passes in his career, and has pocketed a cool $24 million in career earnings. The real-life Alex Moran, Daniel has lived the backup QB life to the fullest, enjoying all of the perks of being an NFL quarterback without any taking on any pressure or getting flattened by 300 pound dudes.
But for some reason, this year, people have seemed to take notice.
This is the last thing Daniel wants. If people start paying too much attention to him, they’ll start asking questions.
“Why on Earth are we paying a 31-year-old with little-to-no experience $5 million?”
“Does Chase Daniel have a butt-chin?”
“Did Chase Daniel grow his beard to cover up a butt-chin?”
“Is Chase Daniel related to Bill O’Brien?”
Chase Daniel wants no part of this extra attention, and is terrified that his 10 year boondoggle might finally be exposed.
We all repress painful memories. We tuck them deep within our brain, and just pile loads of new memories so that we never have to think of the pain again. When you have two Super Bowl winning seasons worth of memories to bury the painful stuff, it’s easy to forget.
But then, as he did for anyone who lined up against him, Randy Moss brought all the pain back in his Hall of Fame speech. In a heartfelt moment, he thanked Bill Belichick for everything he did for him, challenging him to be the best he could be, and teaching him to love football again. It was a beautiful moment. And then so candidly and so genuinely, Moss laments, “And I’m sorry we did not bring it home.”
God Dammit, Randy! I don’t need to go back to ‘07. I really don’t. Oh god, there were so many tears. Oh, it hurt so bad. There was a frog kid!
Excuse me, I need to re-watch the 28-3 comeback until my eyes bleed.
So remember, your Monday could be worse. Happy Sunday.