Not Your Typical NBA Mock Draft

We’re less than a week away from the NBA Draft, and fans of all 30 teams are desperate to see who the future of their favorite team is. The speculation over who is going to be picked where is ramping up, and as a result, many are turning to mock drafts. Here is a not-so-typical NBA Lottery mock draft.

(Disclaimer: This was inspired by @JADubin5 on twitter, and specifically this tweet)

1. Phoenix Suns- Someone who “Don’t wanna be here”

Led by Devin Booker, Josh Jackson and TJ Warren the Phoenix Suns have a lot of young talent. Having the first overall pick will only add to that. However, with the Suns being the Suns, don’t expect them to be able to turn this young talent into anything special. They haven’t made the playoffs since 2010, and this past season Eric Bledsoe publicly tweeted that he didn’t want to be in Phoenix. I’m sure whoever gets drafted there this year will feel the same way very quickly.

2. Sacramento Kings- The Wrong Player

The Kings have an illustrious draft history of selecting bad players. In recent years, they have used lottery picks to select the likes of Georgios Papagiannis, Nik Stauskas, Jimmer Fredette, and Thomas Robinson. The Kings have the second pick this year, and while that may seem hard to mess up, don’t be shocked when the Kings do exactly that.

3. Atlanta Hawks- Future Best Friend of the Migos

The best thing that the Hawks have going for them is that the Migos are not only Hawks fans, but often sit courtside at games. This year, it seems as if Migos member Quavo and Hawks guard Dennis Schroder have become very good friends. But, with Schroder wanting out of Atlanta, Quavo, Offset, and Takeoff are in need of a new best friend. Look no further than the third pick to be their new bestie.


4. Memphis Grizzlies- Probably Won’t Even Play in Memphis

Before Mike Conley got hurt, Memphis looked like they could compete for a playoff spot. The Grizzlies see no reason as to why they can’t try and compete to make the playoffs again next year, so instead of actually using the fourth pick on a future franchise player, expect them to trade it for a win-now type of player.

5. Dallas Mavericks- Might Appear on an Episode of Shark Tank

The Mavericks are owned by Mark Cuban who, after being Mavericks owner, is most famous for appearing on the television show Shark Tank. Whoever the Mavs use the fifth pick on might just become a guest financial investor on the show, and put some of their rookie contract money into some weird companies.


6. Orlando Magic- Will Become a Good Player After Leaving Orlando

Like the aforementioned Sacramento Kings, the Orlando Magic quite simply suck at drafting. But, the players that they do draft, become good players once they leave Orlando. Former second overall pick Victor Oladipo became an All-NBA player just two years after the Magic gave up too early on him, Tobias Harris has proven himself to be a good NBA starter, and even Elfrid Payton has shown promise after the Magic shipped him off to Phoenix. Expect this draft pick to play three mediocre years with Orlando, and then become an all-star after leaving.

7. Chicago Bulls- Career Will Fall off a Cliff After Joining the Knicks

The Bulls aren’t used to having early draft picks, as they are usually a playoff team. The last two times they had top ten picks was in 2007 and 2008 when they took Joakim Noah ninth, and Derrick Rose first. Both of the two had very promising starts to their careers and the two of them made all-star teams, all-NBA teams, and Rose even won an MVP. But both of them joined the Knicks prior to the start of the 2016/17 season, and are now bench scrubs in the NBA. So, whoever gets drafted seventh, enjoy your career before going to the Knicks.


8. Cleveland Cavaliers- Someone Who Won’t Play With LeBron

Sorry Cavs fans, LeBron probably isn’t coming back. I don’t want to bore you with LeBron stuff, so read our LeBron watch instead! But if LeBron is to come back, the Cavs will likely use this pick as trade-bait to get a better supporting cast around him. If he leaves Cleveland, then this player will play on one of the worst teams in the NBA.

9. New York Knicks- He’ll get Booed

I don’t even think I need to write something of substance here. We all know that Knicks fans boo their picks. It’s basically a tradition at this point. Their last two first-round picks: Frank Ntilikina and Kristaps Porzingis, were ruthlessly mocked by the New York media and given the harshest of welcomes after Adam Silver called their names.

10. Philadelphia 76ers- Someone Injured

The 76ers “Big 3” all consists of guys who had injury problems right after being drafted. All-star center Joel Embiid missed his first two years with a back injury, potential rookie of the year point forward Ben Simmons missed his rookie year with a foot injury, and Markelle Fultz missed most of last year with a vague shoulder injury. So whoever the 76ers draft (maybe Michael Porter Jr???), don’t expect them to play a full season next year.


11. Charlotte Hornets- Future NBA Role-Player

Apart from drafting Kemba Walker back in 2011, it seems as if every player that the Hornets draft turns into a role-player. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Cody Zeller, and Frank Kaminsky are three of the Hornets more recent draft picks and all epitomize what being a role-player is. They play average basketball and we forget they exist until someone mentions them.

12. LA Clippers- Gets to Live “the LA Lifestyle” Without Pressure

Nowadays it seems as if every single NBA player is rumored to sign with the Lakers. LeBron James, Kawhi Leonard, and Paul George are three of the current superstars who are linked with a move to LA. But playing for the Lakers comes with a lot of pressure as they are one of the most storied franchises in the NBA. So playing for the Clippers is perfect! You get to live in Los Angeles and have no pressure as they play for one of the worst franchises, from a historical perspective, in the NBA.

13. LA Clippers- Will Star in John Wick 3

Okay, this one is just an excuse for me to talk about Boban Marjanovic, but I doubt you care because who doesn’t love Boban??? The huge 29-year-old Serbian is one of the funniest looking, and funniest (comedy-wise) players in the NBA. The best thing about Boban though is that he will be starring in the action movie “John Wick 3.” I haven’t seen either of the first two, but I know I’ll see the third one if it stars Boban.

14. Denver Nuggets- A Future NBA Star

The Nuggets have apparently been shopping the No. 14 pick alongside Kenneth Faried in order to shed salary. Last year, the Nuggets traded down from pick 13 and bad things happened. While they got Tyler Lydon and Trey Lyles from Utah, the Jazz got potential rookie of the year and future star Donovan Mitchell. I wouldn’t be shocked if the same thing happens this year.


1 comment on “Not Your Typical NBA Mock Draft

  1. warningtrack

    Good stuff. Fun read. The pic of the injured 76ers is amazing.


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