While all of our attention is being drawn to the NBA Finals, I was stunned by an out-of-the-blue NFL headline. The 34-year-old Delanie Walker, of the Tennessee Titans, makes the remarkably bold statement that he is “the best tight end in the league in all phases.” Now, I’m all in favor of athletes being confident in themselves, but it’s downright disrespectful to say that when the most dominant freakshow of a tight end is currently playing.
Despite the Jimmy Graham hot takes from 2011-2014, Rob Gronkowski has been almost unanimously agreed upon as the league’s best tight end since his breakout season in 2011. But I’m a Pats fan, and I’m clearly biased. So I’ll give you two blind resumes, and allow you to make your own decision.
Player A: 76 career TDs (102 games played).
Player B: 34 career TDs (175 games played).
Player A: Vernon Davis’ backup for seven seasons.
Player B: Premier tight end on his team since 2010.
Player A: Does not have his own party cruise.
Player B: Has his own party cruise.
Player A: Lost to Player B’s team 35-14 in the Divisional Round last season.
Player B: Caught a touchdown in a 35-14 victory over Player A’s team in the Divisional Round last season.
Player A: Has never once been featured in an episode of Family Guy.
Player B: Starred in an episode of Family Guy.
Player A: One 1,000 yard season.
Player B: Four 1,000 yard seasons.
Player A: Not dating a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model.
Player B: Dating a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model and has two Super Bowl rings.
Comparing these two athletes, head to head is tough. But I hope you were able to make a decision. Now it’s time to reveal which athlete is who. Player A is Delanie Walker, and Player B is Rob Gronkowski. Surprised?
Now, shut up Delanie.