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Ryan’s thoughts: Volume I

Have a look inside my mind.

As the dog days of summer approach, I find myself being flooded with countless thoughts. Some are really good, others are quite intriguing and most would make you understand why I can’t be left alone to ponder life.

However, since I am spending most days in a cube between the hours of 9 and 5, I have been finding it very challenging to share everything with you guys. That stinks, because I love you all so much and just want to blog until I force myself into a permanent state of carpal tunnel syndrome.

With that being said, I have come up with an incredible solution. Every week, I am going to leave you guys with some of the best (or most recent) things that have popped into my brain. Get ready for the ride of your lifetime.

Thought #1

How many kicks would it take to break Saquon Barkley’s leg?

The age old question used to be “how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?” It is time we change that.

Barkley threw out the first pitch of the Yankees game on Tuesday and immediately his massive tree trunks stole the show.


Look at those things! Forget running back! We need this man on the Avengers ASAP. So, realistically, how many kicks would it take to break his leg? I’m talking normal powered kicks with an average wind-up beforehand. Personally, I’m going to go with like 20 (if I don’t break my own leg on the first one).

Curious what your thoughts are on this question. P.S. I don’t want to break his legs I just think this needs to be done for scientific reasons.

Thought #2

I’m a hockey guy now.

Breaking news. Guess what’s on the television as I type this bad boy? You guessed it, New Girl.

BUT, I did THINK about putting on Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals. That’s a big step up for me. I watched most of Game 1 (saw a goal live, not to brag) and am getting closer and closer to figuring out where exactly the puck is 10 percent of the time. If you think I’m excited about this new chapter in my life, check out how my uncle is feeling:


Watch out hockey world, I’m coming for you.

Thought #3


Shooters shoot, that never changes.

Thought #4

The NBA has bamboozled all of us.

We just sat through two series that went seven games and I know what you’re thinking. “Gee golly Ryan, how lucky are we to witness a two great conference finals!”

Two things:


  1. “Gee golly?” This isn’t the 60s big guy, learn some new lingo.
  2. YOU’RE WRONG. Both series stunk, they absolutely stunk. Just because we saw the Warriors and Rockets battle and LeBron played in the other games we all thought in the moment we were watching something special. But you know what we really got? A bunch of blowouts in the East and just some awful basketball in the West.

If that wasn’t bad enough, we get to top it off with Cavs vs. Warriors round infinity. This thought may be one you don’t agree with, but that’s what makes our relationship so great. You love to hate me, I love crying into my pillow every night wondering how I can please you emotionally. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Those are my thoughts for the week. Hit me back with some of yours, let’s try and get on the same brainwave.

1 comment on “Ryan’s thoughts: Volume I

  1. warningtrack

    So now I’ve been inside Ryan’s head. Interesting place but I’m glad I have someplace else to exist. As they say: Ryan lives in his own world but it’s ok because everyone knows him there.

    Liked by 1 person

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