Last night, when most of the United States was settling into their beds with sadness as the three day weekend was coming to an end, the Los Angeles Clippers and Houston Rockets starred in the latest episode of “The Real Housewives of the NBA”.
Since it was first reported, tweets, press conferences, memes and much more have given us more insight into the situation. It’s a confusing event that has a lot of question marks that need to be answered, meaning it’s crucial that we understand what exactly went down and discover any hidden meanings this petty night produced.
Trevor Ariza v. Austin Rivers v. Blake Griffin
The tensions began to rise when Austin Rivers (who was not even playing in the game) and Trevor Ariza (someone who really has no business trash talking anyone) began to get into it as the teams played out the final minutes of what would be a Clippers victory. I imagine the conversation when a little something like this:
Rivers: “You stink!”
Ariza: “Your suit doesn’t even look that good.”
Rivers: “Don’t make me tell my dad what you said.”
Pretty intense stuff, I know. It makes sense that this is what happened because Austin Rivers is the king of talking trash because he knows there’s no consequences when your dad is the coach. He’s like that kid in your class whose mom ends up being the substitute teacher for the day so he just goes wild and gets away with it all.
This little argument prompted Griffin to step in. Griffin claims the conversation was about Ariza’s birthday party, but I imagine Blake saying, “Listen you guys both stink so maybe just don’t be idiots for like five seconds so we can go home.”
To which Trevor Ariza most likely said, “How are you going to sit here and call me an idiot when one of my teammates literally dated a Kardashian.”
Blake Griffin vs. Mike D’Antoni (NSFW)
After the three-way argument and Griffin throwing a ball off of Eric Gordon as he fell out of bounds, Griffin decided he might as well complete the trifecta and have the opposing team’s head coach curse him off.
As Griffin neared D’Antoni on the sideline, the two began screaming at eachother. I think Griffin said something like, “Your mustache sucks,” or “James Harden is the real coach for your team,” prompting a NSFW response from D’Antonio.
Post Game “Fight”
Before we get into what went down in the locker room, I am putting the fight in parentheses because this was such a classic NBA brawl. No players actually wanted to fight, it’s all about acting as tough as you can with words and intimidation while avoiding any physical confrontation.
Rockets’ barge into Clippers’ locker room
The events that transpired during this time were weird and sort of confusing. In order to explain what happened and why, I’ve decided to decode this part of the night using the 5 W’s.
Who: James Harden, Gerald Green and Trevor Ariza calling out Blake Griffin and Austin Rivers. Chris Paul helped get them there. Clint Capela tried to but got the door slammed in his face.
I understand Ariza being angry because he was involved in the scuffle on the court, James Harden has to join because he’s the leader of the team, and Chris Paul has probably been dreaming of this moment ever since he left LA.
Speaking of Paul, reports claim he did not get involved in the actual fight, but does anyone know where Cliff Paul was at this time?
What: Want to “fight”.
Once again, there was no way either side actually wanted to fight. You think any of these guys can take a punch when they can’t even get past a screen without looking like they have just been shot?
Where: Outside the Clippers’ locker room and through the secret tunnel.
The funniest part about this story has to be that the Clippers 1.) have a secret tunnel that connects the two locker rooms and 2.) Chris Paul remembered it and used it to his advantage. Now that the secret is out, I would imagine it has to be removed or opposing teams are going to be able to pull of some pretty amazing pranks.
When: Way past my bedtime
This is the most important question being asked. Why exactly did the Rockets decide to actually confront the Clippers instead of taking this straight to social media like everyone else. I think it was mostly because they were genuinely upset with how Griffin and Rivers acted, but there are a couple of other possibilities.
There is a good chance the Rockets were just pissed because they lost. It is never fun to lose to a team you are clearly better than.
My other thought is that they needed to do this to get some publicity. The Rockets are a very good team, but they don’t really dominate the news cycle. Plus, being the game that follows the Cavs and Warriors is never fun because no one cares after that. Part of me actually thinks the Clippers and Rockets got together before the game and planned this whole scenario just to ensure that they can dominate the headlines for once.
Blake Griffin on Trevor Ariza
BG: “He asked me if I was still coming to his birthday party and I said yeah I’m going to try.”
I still believe what my transcript of the conversation is more correct, but this dialogue proves to me that there was no beef at all. If this is what Trevor Ariza is going to say during a scuffle, then it’s clear that he was not really angry. It’s like how LeBron and Draymond pretend to hate each other but then tag one another in memes on Instagram. No beef to be found here.
Doc Rivers on the scuffle
DC: “I didn’t see anything in the hallway, but I saw it near our locker room, I’ll say that. Let’s put it like this: We were all — our team was in our locker room. That’s all I’ll say. I’ll let you do the rest of the investigation.”
What he is really saying here is, “I miss the big three in Boston.”
CP: “They’ve got Lou Will. Lou Will is the guy… that’s the go-to guy, the guy they should play through and stuff like that.”
What he means is, “I know Blake Griffin is really their guy, but I’m super mad that I lost to them in my return so I’m just going to be as petty as possible.”
No feud is complete without a couple tweets, and last night was no difference.
This is Blake Griffin just admitting that he’s a troll. He really has no feud with the Rockets, but he is more than happy to get under their skin and mess around as much as possible.
Patrick Beverley (NSFW)
“Hey guys, remember me? I didn’t even play in the game last night and I wish I could still play for Houston but I’m just going to pretend like I love it here. Remember when I messed around with Lonzo haha I am so tough.”
“No one is talking about me…NOTICE ME.”
All in all it was a pretty wild night no one saw coming. No need to worry though because these guys will all be taking selfies with each other and probably playing on the same team next year.