We are roughly halfway through the NBA season, and you’re probably seeing a lot of award predictions. Well, get ready to see another. However, instead of doing the boring MVP, Rookie of the Year, and the actual awards, here are some made up ones I came up with.
Who are you? Award: Spencer Dinwiddie, PG, Nets
Nets point guard Spencer Dinwiddie is quietly having a breakthrough season. In 40 games, 30 of which he’s started, Dinwiddie is averaging 13.2 points and 6.4 assists per game on 41/37/81 shooting splits. In his first three NBA seasons, where he spent two years with the Pistons and one with the Nets, Dinwiddie never averaged more than 7.5 points per game or 3.5 assists per game. Luckily for him, his name has been swirled in trade rumors meaning he has a chance of getting away from the 16-26 Nets.
Wait, what happened? Award: Jae Crowder, SF, Cavaliers
The Cavs probably thought they were getting a fantastic bench piece in Jae Crowder when the Celtics included him in their package to get Kyrie Irving. That hasn’t been the case. Last year, Crowder was a great perimeter defender and a good offensive player too averaging 13.9 points a night on 46/40/81 shooting. This year, like the Cavs, Crowder has struggled. His points, assists, rebounds, blocks, and steals are all down from last year, and his shooting has become abysmal, as he has a 40/30/90 split.
Why are you paid that much? Award: Luol Deng, SF, Lakers
In the summer of 2016, the Lakers made two colossal mistakes. They signed Timothy Mozgov to a 4 year, $64 million deal, and they signed Luol Deng to a 4 year, $72 million deal. They were able to unload Mozgov’s contract this summer on the Nets, but Luol Deng is still on the Lakers books. While some may have thought Deng was injured after finding out he has only played one game, he’s actually just bad. The Lakers have been trying to trade Deng all year, but nobody wants him. Los Angeles also can’t waive him because that would leave over $50 million still owed to Deng. Clearly the Lakers regret letting then-GM Mitch Kupchak offer such a ludicrous deal to Luol Deng.
You’re still playing? Award: Vince Carter, SG/SF, Kings
Vince Carter is in his 20th NBA season at the ripe age of 40 (soon to be 41). Carter signed with the Kings this summer on a one year deal, and in a surprise to nobody hasn’t looked great while on the floor. In 25 games Carter is averaging just four points, two rebounds, and one assist per game. If none of this is telling Carter that he shouldn’t retire, then maybe this will: three of Vince’s teammates (Harry Giles, De’Aaron Fox, Georgios Papagiannis) were less than a year old when “Vinsanity” was drafted in 1998.
Get this man a better agent! Award: Kemba Walker, PG, Hornets
Getting paid $12 million to play basketball seems like a lot, until you realize that Chandler Parsons, Allen Crabbe, Bismack Biyombo, and so many more are getting paid millions more. Hornets star Kemba Walker has been having another great season. This year Kemba is averaging 21.8 points and 5.8 assists per game on 43/34/85 shooting. Kemba seems like he’s the only one even trying in Charlotte, and despite having a decently talented roster, the Hornets are 16-24. Walker has one year left on his deal following this season, and he should think about hiring a better agent for that offseason. Maybe he should hire Josh Smith’s agent, as the Pistons are somehow paying J-Smoove, despite him last playing for Detroit in December 2014.
Eric Bledsoe™ “I Dont wanna be here” Award: Tyreke Evans, SG, Memphis
For the first time since his rookie season Tyreke Evans has looked like an above average NBA player. After struggling in his stint with the Pelicans and half year with the Kings, the Memphis Grizzlies signed him on a one year deal. Evans has flourished this season, while the Grizzlies have not. Evans is averaging 19.9 points, 5.1 rebounds, and 4.6 assists per game this year, all of which are major improvements over the last few seasons. The Grizzlies on the other hand, have gotten a whole lot worse. Last year, Memphis made the playoffs with a 43-39 record, while this season they have a bottom five 13-28 record. Tyreke might want to go to Twitter like Eric Bledsoe did to force his own trade to the Bucks.