Press Conference Whisperer: Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke

Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke doesn't speak to the media often, so when he did we had translate what he said.

The Press Conference Whisperer is back!

If you missed the last Press Conference Whisperer, you can check it out here.

The PCW returns right in time for Arsenal majority shareholder Stan Kroenke’s interview with the British publication, The Mirror. Time to decipher what Kroenke, who also owns basically every professional sports team in Colorado plus the Los Angeles Rams, meant to say.

Stan Kroenke: (paraphrased) I will never sell Arsenal and it will remain with my family for generations.

Press Conference Whisperer: I don’t want Arsenal to get back to the 2003 “Invincibles” for as long as possible. MUHAHAHAHA

SK: [The fans] are passionate about the club, they have the right to their opinions and the only part I worry about is how it affects the players and the coaching staff. It can have a bad effect on that group and that’s the last group you want it to have a bad effect upon.

PCW: Arsenal fans are the absolute worst! Just shut up and let us make terrible decisions so you can come in and pay the highest ticket prices in the country so I can make more money.

SK: There are a lot of easier ways, so many easier ways, to make money, I assure you! You guys talk about the downs, maybe that’s the nature of it, but if you’re just trying to make money there are a lot easier ways to do it.

PCW: If you look at all the teams I own back in U.S., they are all pretty bad. The trick is to make teams competitive, but not good enough to contend for championships.

SK: If you look at our history – just go look at our history. We get into these things to try to build them, to try to grow them. You don’t see us selling things. You just don’t. Go and check us. We are committed long-term.

PCW: Bro, how many times do I have to say this? Ok look, I’ll consider selling my sports teams once everyone has a new stadium.

SK: Look, we want to be champions of everything; Premier League, Champions League – we want them all. When they list them on my phone, they list a third one, they list the FA Cup: Arsenal. Right there; that’s your list of champions.

PCW: Look, I kind of want to win everything and to stop you from asking a good follow up question, I will confuse you with a stupid second half of the quote because ya know, we won the FA Cup.

SK: Do we want to win more? Absolutely. We want them. We have to do better but don’t sell short the FA Cup and Arsene’s record setting.

PCW: Wenger is the best and we text all the time, so if he wins anything you guys should just back off or else he will fight you like he fights with his jacket zipper.


SK: His record of consistency through 20 years. We did fall out of the Champions League but with four more points than finishing second. It’s competitive and arguably more competitive. Just check out this gif of Wenger looking the exact same throughout the years. 


PCW: Like the common soccer phrase says, “Nobody is more than the club.” Well, Arsene Wenger is more than the club and we will never fire him no matter how much he doesn’t perform up to expectations.

Arsenal currently sits fifth in the Premier League table, a spot out of the Champions League top four places, and do not look like they are capable of overthrowing the current top four. With a squad that should be able to compete in these competitions, Kroenke and company need to get their acts together.

1 comment on “Press Conference Whisperer: Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke

  1. Patrick Brown

    Awesome Article!!!!


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