NBA

What would happen if there was an NBA Purge?

There has been recent reports that half of the NBA franchises last season lost money instead of making any revenue. Some people think the league has over expanded and it can be seen in the standings as the league is very top heavy with a few franchises controlling the scene. This brings up the question how do we get rid of all this debt and assure teams can make money?

Commissioner Adam Silver has been considered multiple options, but one thing he hasn’t thought of: The Purge.

Have Silver go and kill off the weak teams that can’t protect themselves during the purge.  The perfect survival of the fittest test, it would eliminate the gap between teams tanking and teams competing for championships. Now the question is who stays and who goes?


Sacramento Kings

One of the first victims in the purge has to be the Sacramento kings. They can not keep up with the rest of the NBA’s stars behind aging Vince Carter and Zach Randolph who are pushing retirement home age. There is just not a young promising leader on that team and in this fast paced game would get stomped. It’s also not helping that their GM’s have been some of the worst in history so they have no guidance to lead them out of this experiment. With little fan support in a town not used to sports teams, there is no back up. Silver can start off the purge with ease.

New Orleans Pelicans

We make it a little longer into the battle but unfortunately the next casualty was the New Orleans Pelicans. The Pelicans have great leadership behind stars Anthony Davis and DeMarcus cousins but just the city has such a small market they can’t rack up support.

Another target on their back is just the pelican itself. Something that doesn’t strike fear in the heart of silver or any other NBA teams. The gold and dark blue only looking good to some, and a pelican seems like a nice thing to watch by the bay rather than an intimidating mascot, it  just doesn’t have much going for them. The Pelicans are a vulnerable team to the purge and should be one of the first eliminated.

Memphis Grizzlies

The one of the few teams to top the small market of New Orleans is Memphis. The Grizzlies turn out to just be teddy bears as shown in their postseason history. No NBA finals at all, even when they played in Vancouver. Speaking of Vancouver, the  move to Memphis (the smallest market in the NBA currently) has derailed what seemed to be a promising franchise.

Management did not get better spending virtually all their money on an aging Mike Conley who can not hold the weight of the franchise in  battle on his small frame. With Silver coming town to exterminate it looks like it’s another lost puppy or grizzly i should say that will be easy in the slaughter.

Brooklyn Nets

Silver’s next stop the is the mecca of street basketball Brooklyn.  Dr. J tried to put the franchise on his back unfortunately could not hold all that weight. The Nets have been the poster child for mediocrity for the past 5 years.

Their draft picks hold so much value it’s like a hidden treasure thanks to the bad management gave those all away years ago. Even though this team embodies the spirit of a basketball ridden city and have a ton of support to back them up in this purge, where they lack is the people actually representing them on the squad. Their most likely to lie down before fighting back.

Utah Jazz

Midway through the purge and Silver is starting to get a little power hungry. With Gordon Hayward gone the Jazz looked pretty gleam, so why not kill it off before it gets too bad. Not a single championship under their belt and one of the smallest markets, this franchise doesn’t bring much to the table.

The “Jazz” is one of the only franchises to name themselves after a musical genre. However, that doesn’t bring anything to the table for them. Derrick Favors is an interesting front man but it just won’t live up to the NBA standards to make it through the purge.

Indiana Pacers

Another franchise left to dry after the departure of their franchise player is the Indiana Pacers. With Paul George gone, the Pacers are left on the street for the purgers. Indiana is a huge sports area holding many NCAA championships and great football scene. But for pro basketball, the lack of support will help Silver come in and exterminate with ease.

Atlanta Hawks

Silver just keeps going heading down south, to One of the longest standing franchises in NBA history and they only have one championship to show for it. The Atlanta Hawks, another supposed “intimidating” bird, sadly can’t fly away from their doom here. They’ve had the star power like Dominique Wilkins, Falcons, they looked so close yet were so far. Not getting over that hump and being stuck in this mediocre rut will make silvers extermination fairly easy.

Orlando Magic

We are entering the later stages of the purge and teams are starting to put up more of a fight. You head down to Orlando where the reminiscence of Shaq makes a barrier for Silver to have to get over. Unfortunately, the current roster isn’t doing any of them favors. To go to war with Nikola Vucevic as your best player, isn’t the most intimidating and best option. In a place where chilling at the beach seems to be priority, basketball takes sort of a backseat. Not one of the easiest exterminations for silver but seems to be not much push back. Maybe Silver can calm down with a nicer sip of wine by the beach.

LA Clippers

Now you would never think of the extermination of a Los Angeles sports team. Clippers can’t seem to get out of the shadow of the Lakers. LA is left out to dry especially with the departure of Chris Paul. Bad leadership by the likes of Donald Sterling has guided them anywhere good and put them in this vulnerable position for the purge. So much promise from the recent Clippers team you would think they have the tools to make it in this purge, but with the lack of deep playoff runs and zero championships to show for it, beneath it all they are just like the rest of the victims. Sporting the red white and blue, they can be the next casualty in this American tradition.

Charlotte Hornets

Its nearing the end of the purge and Adam Silver is looking for one more team to exterminate. Why not the Charlotte Hornets? Used to be the laughing stock of the NBA when they were the Bobcats sporting some of the worst records in NBA history and worst management trading away  players like Kobe Bryant and passing on players like Damian Lillard, it seems like an easy target in  the purge. But you forget one thing, The G.O.A.T. Michael Jordan. Even with the oddly teal uniform colors, and the very small town the reside in, it seems like one on one with Jordan. But Jordan will pull through right? Well, the Hornets just have been so bad even the goat couldn’t rise out of the mediocrity. But he won’t lose. He never does. That’s why he agrees to move to Seattle. A win win for both sides and a great peaceful way to end the purge

Hey Charlotte fans, at least you get Dwight for a year.


As the purge closes the franchises that made it out now have stiff competition. Of course this is a hypothetical and every NBA franchise deserves a shot at the championship, but it’s Adam Silver decided to do this, it would make the league a little more competitive.

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