Bad Days in the Office: Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney topped off a bad loss to his former club with getting caught drinking and driving hours later.

Photo courtesy of OLI SCARFF/AFP – taken from the Telegraph

Wayne Rooney went back to Old Trafford with his boyhood club Everton only to get thrashed 4-0 by his former club Manchester United. That night he was arrested for driving while over the legal limit for alcohol consumption.

Sunday was truly a bad day in the office for Wayne Rooney.

With an incredibly average 6.5 player match rating according to the Daily Mail, Rooney was not up to standard – something he really hasn’t done in a few years.

“Worked tirelessly but had two big chances and his killer instinct deserted him,” Chris Wheeler wrote for the Daily Mail.

He was subsequently substituted off and almost immediately the Red Devils had a devastating counter attack goal on the other end.


Let’s go to an image of Wayne Rooney training before the match to figure out what went wrong with his performance.


That explains things! Wayne Rooney clearly doused himself with an absurd amount of Vodka before the big match to calm his nerves. Silly him!

While that was just water that Rooney was using to get hydrated, it’s still funny how that water clearly avoided his mouth. Maybe that led to some dehydration and shooting woes during the match, coupled by a devastated face after getting demolished by the club he spent 14 years at and holds the all-time goalscoring record there as well.


The only way to move on from such a disappointing return to a place that meant so much to him, drink and forget! Let’s go to a post-match picture of what Rooney probably looked like.


Yes, this picture was taken many years ago at a wedding, but Rooney definitely needed some relief after getting bested by his replacement striker in Romelu Lukaku. Rooney has been in the tabloids before for his drinking episodes, but this time he was finally caught driving while intoxicated.

Major Conspiracy Theory

Some of this leads people to believe that what if Rooney has just been playing soccer in order to get in on all the drinking that comes with celebrating after big victories, like the time Rooney actually won things with Manchester United.


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