An 98 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes is pretty dang good. Inside Out, an animated comedy/drama, starred five basic emotions. The emotions were joy, fear, sadness, anger and disgust. They were accompanied by Bing Bong, an elephant-like creature who sacrificed whatever it took for his crew.
Sports receive a similarly high rating if they market their players well. For example, in the NBA, we know so much about all the stars, making the league a glorified reality show. The NFL does this to an extent, but often the players have to self-promote. We do see enough of these players’ personal lives that there is a good idea what kind of people they are.
As someone who studies the NFL, I salivated at the idea of picking which star football player would play each of these emotions. Here is the cast and crew of this hypothetically great remake of Inside Out.
Joy – Antonio Brown
Business is booming! Antonio Brown seems to always be in a good mood. A consensus top-three wide out, Brown has enjoyed immense success on the field. That has led him to some lucrative contracts and endorsement deals.
Brown has never been one to shy from letting the public know of his excessive wealth. And on the field, he seems pretty happy too.
How joyous do you have to be to willingly launch your groin directly onto an unforgiving surface?
Fear – Matt Ryan
This pains me to put ‘Matty Ice’ as the fearful one, but he showed in the Super Bowl he may not exactly have ice in his veins. The 28-3 lead the Falcons blew can at least in some fashion be chalked up to the lackluster play of Ryan in the second half. He looked like a deer in the headlights trying to hold the lead, with the proverbial car being driven by Tom Brady.
Sadness – Andrew Luck
One of most talented quarterbacks in all of football has good reason to be sad. His General Manager and coach have been some of the worst in football thus far is his career. Luck’s supporting cast has been pitiful, filled with washed-up veterans and undrafted rookies. He has played out of his mind, just to get beat up every week and have limited success in the playoffs.
It is okay, Andrew, don’t get too down on yourself.
Anger – Tom Brady
I am not saying the best quarterback ever is always angry, instead that he is just freaky when he is angry. Do not give Brady any reason to seek vengeance on anyone. Angry Brady will enter a zone, like the one he entered after this moment (look at the score).
Disgust – James Harrison
Yeah, I am not sure why this character was included in the movie either, but we have to include it. Harrison seems disgusted at most times and rarely smiles. This beast-of-a-man is known for his huge hits, most of which are illegal now. It takes a lot to take out the great Colt McCoy, but Harrison could do it.
The veteran must be disgusted at how soft the NFL is now, not allowing him to punish opponents like he once did. He also has to play the Browns twice a year, which is disgusting in and of itself. Additionally, James Harrison must loathe how light weights are to him. The man throws around hundreds of pounds like he is lifting air.
Bing Bong – Matthew Slater
This stud epitomizes what putting the team first is all about. Slater does whatever it takes for his team to win, namely being a special teams animal. He does the dirty work for the Patriots, and has long been one of Belichick’s favorite players. He may not get all the glory, but he wins. Slater and Bing Bong may be best buds for all we know.