Just got punched in the face? Nothing a dog can’t make you feel better about. You just struck out with the bases loaded to end the game? Here is a cute puppy to brighten your day. Your team just blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals? We can give you a dog, but you should still feel bad because you are a Warriors fan. As you can see, dogs can help (almost) every situation.
Dogs are such big parts of all of our lives, but they seem to be missing from one large area: Sports. Yes, a dog was just a bat dog for a minor league team, and yes, it was super cute.
But, this is not enough. More doggos is always the answer. And no, having a bunch of Air Bud dogs is not an option. I have devised a list of plausible ways we could fit our favorite mammals into some of our favorite sports.
There are 45 seconds left in the Super Bowl. It is third-and-15, with your team down six points. You want some receiver whose tendencies are known to the cornerback like the back of his hand? No, you need a wild card. That wild card ideally is a dog. Don’t even try telling me this won’t work because I have it all planned out.
Have you ever seen a dog just bolt across a yard when they spot a mailman? Imagine that type of speed in an NFL game. The WR dog needs to have three main characteristics: hunger, obedience and quickness. What we will have happen, is the dog will line up like a normal receiver, and their owner will be just out of the endzone. Their owner will hold up a hand, signaling the dog to stay. As soon as the ball is snapped, the owner will call the dog (who will have a basket on its back). No defensive back is keeping up with the dog once it takes off. The last thing we need is an insanely accurate quarterback. Considering this is late in the Super Bowl, we will choose Eli Manning. The dog will wear a Mario Manningham jersey to make Eli feel at home. Eli could drop a nice deep ball into the basket on the dog’s back. Your team wins. The dog is the hero.
Man’s Best Defender
Remember Kyrie Irving hitting that three at the end of the 2016 NBA Finals? Of course you do. Steph Curry could not stop that shot from going in, but a dog could have. Those little dogs that ‘yip’ furiously would do the trick.
Imagine that little pup nipping at the feet of Kyrie. No way he is making that shot. These type of dogs could be absolute weapons at the end of games. Every nail-biting scenario late in games would be the dogs time to shine.
Michael Phelps racing a shark was not what we all had in mind.
The shark is not necessarily a cute animal. The dog, absolutely is. It would be a lot more entertaining to watch Phelps race a dog. That is mainly because a dog would not eat Phelps, so they could race side-by-side. And yes, of course the most decorated Olympian of all time would absolutely smoke a dog in a race. That is why Phelps would be tied down with a 50-pound weight on his back.
As you can see by the power of gif (pronounced not like the peanut butter), some dogs can be advanced swimmers. Again, all dogs need is a little treat at the end to be motivated enough to swim as fast as they can. This sounds like must-see television if you ask me.